Things I learned in my 4 years of motherhood

With Mother's Day approaching, I find myself looking back at some of the things I have learned; such as...

• If you have a child with digestion problems, the sight of "poop" will make your heart sing.
• It is a lot of fun to dress your baby in nothing but a diaper, funny shoes, and goofy hats.
• Also, arranging a diaper on their head using different angles can by hysterical. Always use a clean diaper.
• It is amazing what will not make you puke as long as it is spewing from your offspring.
• People who refer to pets as their children have never had children. Understand, I was once one of those people.
• You really can control your temper in traffic if your child, who tells your Mom everything you say and do, is strapped in behind you.
• If you are really tired, it is OK to let the dirt "float off" in the bathtub.
• Stay caught up with your child's laundry. Unlike my own dirty clothes, Bailey's are normally stained, and therefore a quick tumble in the dryer will not refresh them.
• When you child sings their favorite song at the top of their lungs in the grocery store, sing along. Other customers are already mad at ya anyhow.
• In a pinch, cold coffee and a stale biscuit feeds a child quite nicely.