As she was leaving the grocery one day, Ma witnessed a man being mean to his dog. She asked him not to do that. Being the total BUTT that anyone who is mean to animals is, he continued his mistreatment. Ma said nothing else, but went quietly to her car for a weapon (Ma is serious about animals). As she is looking around her trunk for the tire tool—she suddenly has an epiphany. Turkeys are not considered deadly weapons. She grabs up her turkey as begins swinging it to get up momentum as she walks back over to the man. He looks up just in time to get knocked out. Yep, that’s right, cold as a cucumber in the parking lot with frozen poultry.
The police arrive, the typical crowd gathers, the guy wakes up and shouts, “She shot me”. Ma tells him “Oh, I did not shoot you; I hit you with a turkey for heaven’s sake”. “Where is my dog?” he demands. Ma says, “The minute you let go of the leash he ran away”. Now everyone in that crowd saw Ma take the dog to her car when she knocked him out, but no one says a word. In fact, a guy had taken it upon himself, Mr. Dogood, to stay at her car with the dog and keep him quite so the police wouldn’t notice. Reluctantly, the police haul Ma away. Mr. Dogood slips her his number and says, “I’ll take care of the stuff in your car. Call me when you get this straightened out”. The police, bless them, were really good to Ma. They cuffed her real loose so it would not hurt and they did not put her in a cell. The let her sit at one of their desks until Daddy got there with bail.
As God watches over crazy people and animals, the case was dismissed. The judge was an animal lover, and when the man’s wife testified that “I had to hold his head in my lap for a week” (it’s my belief this made the judge sick to his stomach), he dismissed the case.
Ma went to Mr. Dogood’s house and retrieved the dog. I believe she must be part of some kind of underground animal protection program. She will only say the dog lives a much pampered life in an undisclosed location. Although aware of many rescues, she normally used cover of darkness or ploys of distraction. This was the first incident involving brute force.
Daddy, well let’s just say he found NO HUMOR in this at all and became furious every time it was brought up. Ma says that is probably why I didn’t know. She could never bring it up. Daddy is gone now, so we may speak of it.
I am so proud just thinking about the DNA I have flowing through my body.
